How I Saved My Marriage

Seemingly completely out of the blue, my husband checked out of our marriage. Without going into very personal details, he was pretty darn certain about this decision and only wanted any debate to be who was getting what and how to do it as quickly as possible so that we could go our separate ways. We had no children at that time, but I was crushed, shocked, and despondent all the same. Frankly, I never saw it coming and I’m typically pretty perceptive about these things, for goodness sake. I was going about my merry way thinking everything was AOK.

Obviously, it was wasn’t. After I got over my shock and anger, I was floored, not only at his behavior, which came out of left field but how sharp a contrast this was to how we used to be. Sure, we’d had our issues, but once upon a time, we were in perfect sync and truly happy, and nothing like the situation on our hands now.

I wanted that back in a big way. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t have it. All we needed was for him to just change his mind with this ridiculous breakup. So, I panicked and went on a single-handed crusade to change his mind through whatever measures necessary — through threats, through begging, through desperate, (and now embarrassing) behavior. I did every single thing I could do to get his attention, sympathy, anger – anything. Looking back, he certainly could’ve accused me of stalking without too much of a stretch.

And when this didn’t work, or he wouldn’t play the game, I moped. I kicked and screamed. I grieved. I hid. I stopped living my life and was completely miserable. Yes, my situation was horrible and I had no time to prepare or adjust, but I was doing absolutely nothing to help myself.

One day, my husband demanded I stop the silliness. He presented me with what I assumed were the divorce papers and told me if I didn’t get my own attorney, the whole deal should be final in 30-60 days.

Well, that woke me up. I realized my little tactic wasn’t working, but I had a month or two, give or take to try something new or to just stop this nonsense and move on with my life. I debated getting an attorney, but I couldn’t handle or deal with that. It seemed too final.

At this point, I was just too tired to pick myself up and try something new or better. Instead, I chose to run away from the situation entirely. If I haven’t bored you to tears already, scroll down (you can always scroll down on this blog) or click here to read part two. (where I make my great escape.)