An Account Of A Saved Marriage (That Might Help You)

I’ll assume if you are reading this, you already know or suspect that you really do want to save your marriage. Maybe you have kids. Maybe you remember how it used to be. Maybe you realize that moving from one household to two permanently would be both emotionally and financially devastating.
Whatever the reason, it is my belief it CAN be done. How do I know this? I have lived it. Within this article, I will tell you how I happened to do this (although some of it was just really dumb luck, but I finally wised up and hopefully, it doesn’t need to take you that long, nor do you need to be as stubborn as I was.) However, I do need to state, that before we go further, that I’m not a therapist or an expert.  (I highly recommend both.)  Please don’t take my advice as a replacement for your own.  I don’t know your situation and can’t make any guarantees, but I hope that something here is helpful. (If you have any questions about this, please read the terms of service and affililate disclosures.)

Seemingly completely out of the blue, my husband checked out of our marriage. Without going into very personal details, he was pretty darn certain about this decision and only wanted any debate to be who was getting what and how to do it as quickly as possible so that we could go our separate ways. We had no children at that time, but I was crushed, shocked, and despondent all the same. Frankly, I never saw it coming and I’m typically pretty perceptive about these things, for goodness sake. I was going about my merry way thinking everything was AOK.

Obviously, it was wasn’t. After I got over my shock and anger, I was floored, not only at his behavior, which came out of left field, but how sharp a contrast this was to how we used to be. Sure, we’d had our issues, but once upon a time, we were in perfect sync and truly happy, and nothing like the situation on our hands now.

I wanted that back in a big way. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t have it. All we needed was for him to just change his mind with this ridiculous break up. So, I panicked and went on a single handed crusade to change his mind through whatever measures necessary — through threats, through begging, through desperate, (and now embarrassing) behavior. I did every single thing I could do to get his attention, sympathy, anger – anything. Looking back, he certainly could’ve accused me of stalking with out too much of a stretch.

And when this didn’t work, or he wouldn’t play the game, I moped. I kicked and screamed. I grieved. I hid. I stopped living my life and was completely miserable. Yes, my situation was horrible and I had no time to prepare of adjust, but I was doing absolutely nothing to help myself.

One day, my husband demanded I stop the silliness. He presented me with what I assumed were the divorce papers and told me if I didn’t get my own attorney, the whole deal should be final in 30-60 days, according to his.

Well, that woke me up. I realized my little tactic wasn’t working, but I had a month or two, give or take to try something new or to just stop this nonsense and move on with my life. I debated getting an attorney, but I couldn’t handle or deal with that. It seemed too final.

At this point, I was just too tired to pick myself up and try something new or better. Instead, I chose to run away from the situation entirely. If I haven’t bored you to tears already, scroll down (you can always scroll down on this blog) orclick here to read part two. (where I make my great escape.)

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